Archive for ‘Blog’
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Dec31
New Years Resolution #1: Play more video games.
I wanted to let everybody know about my favorite Christmas present this year (and hopefully make some money in the process). Roberta got me a Yobo FC Twin. For those of you scratching your heads (like I was the first time the used game store girl dropped the word “Yobo”), Yobo is an electronics company that produces video game consoles to play vintage video games. You see, while the content of the old cartridges themselves is protected intellectual property, the patent on the hardware itself has expired, effectively allowing Yobo to produce “generic” Nintendo and Super Nintendo Entertainment Systems. Somewhat hilariously, those names are still protected trademarks and as such go unmentioned on the box. Restricted from mentioning that it plays “NES” and “SNES” games it instead simply declares generically that it plays “8bit” and “16bit” games. Previous Yobo consoles had played each of those cartridge types individually, while the FC (presumably an abreviation of “Famicon”) Twin has a slot for each. I desperately wanted something to play the few NES and SNES cartridges I had hung onto when I sold my systems, but I was initially very skeptical about picking up a third party video game product. Eventually my doubts were outweighted by the naggingly recurring thought: all real NES’s are 25 years old and can only have so much life left in them.
I’m pretty hard to shop for (mainly because I have no impulse control, especially when I’ve been making a lot of money on eBay) so when Berta asked me what I wanted for Christmas I knew what to say and I promised not to buy it before Christmas. So the Yobo rules! I’ve been playing a lot of the Mega Man Collections on PS2 and it could be my imagination, but it seems like the games run a little faster, making some parts of the game much harder and difficult to keep up with (particularly Quick Man’s stage). I had feared it might be the case with the Yobo, but let me put your mind at ease. It runs at the same speed as the old NES and even suffers the same jumps and flashes that the original systems when there are too many enemies on the screen. The experience is virtually identical to playing the original NES (or SNES depending what games you’re playing). The controllers included with the FC Twin are basically the same design as the SNES controller just a bit lighter, thus the ports are made for SNES plugs. It’s a bit odd to be playing NES games with a SNES conroller but, eh, I manage. However, this means you’re out of luck if you want to play Duck Hunt with your NES Zapper. The only other real drawback is having to wiggle the cartridges out when you’re done playing. I do miss the old “eject” button on the SNES.
All in all, the FC Twin is a great value. Berta picked me up one at around $35 on sale. It occupies significantly less room than the individual original systems and only requires one power source and A/V jack connection, so I really prefer it to having the separate consoles. If you’re interested in vintage gaming and aren’t bothered by the cartridge ejection issues and incompatabilty with NES controller port accessories, you should definitely pick one up. Available from Amazon in Black or Silver varieties (I’d appreciate if you use my link to buy it. I’m an Amazon Associate and I get a small commission on referrals and it takes a bit to run this site, you know):
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You learned yesterday (or last year wakka wakka) what my first New Year’s resolution for 2012 was:
#1: Play more video games.
So I thought I’d share ten more of my top resolutions.
#2: Finish at least 2 issues of the Radicals!
#3: Lose more weight! (After all, Dr. Oz says the more weight you lose the bigger your penis gets and I have plenty of weight to spare. I wonder if it’s possible to “max out”?)
#4: Finish The Shepherd issue 4!
#5: Stop kicking the dog so much by accident.
#6: Start kicking the dog more on purpose.
#7: Get around to doing the first Radicals special.
#8: Make more time to play with Legos.
#9: Get a “real” job that doesn’t agonizingly erode my soul.
#10: Drink more milk shakes! (#3 can wait)
#11: Find some magic artifact and ascend to godhood.
My Freakin' Sweet Lego Haul
Well all, the Great Toy Dump of 2012 is upon us. That time when mass retailers are forced to sacrifice profit for revenue and clear the shelves of old shelf/peg warmers in favor of the new ones. Today I was in a particularly bad uncreative funk and had a terrible headache (possibly because of the massive amount of work I put into rearranging the site I did earlier today). It now looks somewhat better (but still bad) in Internet Explorer. But SERIOUSLY people why are you still using Explorer?!?! But I digress… The point is nothing cheers me up like toy hunting at 3AM, and since there’s been no good new Transformers out in months (I found Black Shadow and Junkheap months ago at Target before they were even supposed to be out), I figured I’d go look for some more Lego sets to go with my recently acquired Space Shuttle (and hopefully pick up some Lego figure bits to get me toward my goal of making a set of Lego Radicals).
Anyway, I roamed to the nearby town of Madisonville (an out-of-the-way little town you would only go to if you want to find old toys at a remote Wal-mart or crystal meth) where I found these Lego sets. Each was at least half off. I got the City Fire Truck which lists at $29 for $11.80; the City Police Chase (which, yes I bought last week but at this price, it’s great for the parts) marked down from $24.97 to $12.40; and the Pharaoh’s Quest Flying Mummy Attack marked down from $19.99 to $7.50. That’s almost $75 worth of Legos for $31.70 before tax! Even the Shuttle I paid $34 for a few weeks ago was on sale there for $25 even though no one else in a 30 mi radius has it. I also picked up a couple of the Lego Creator Wreaths. All the bendy green bits inspired me to try building some sort Dragon-inspired Gundam-y robot.
Anyway, this seems like a good time for a shout-out to Space the Comic, one of the things that started me on this current Lego kick. I enjoy the crap out if, so check it out if you haven’t already and enjoy good things. Or if you’re some kind of communist, don’t.
I’ve fallen a bit behind this week because of a lot of the admin work I’ve been doing this week (the likely causes for my headaches), so there probably won’t be a comic Friday, but I’ll at least try to come up with a nice treat from the sketch archive. Also, how does everyone feel about the new layout? Any opinions?
Introduction
Highlander 2: The Quickening is widely regarded as the perfect example of how not to make a sequel. It’s been accused of being an attempt to cash in on the cult following of the original, spinning a tale practically unrelated to the first. Some would even say contrary. Heck, the producers have even recut it twice since its release and still not quite achieved what they set out to do. But is it really as bad as everyone has made it out to be? And are the Immortals from the Planet Zeist or from A REALLY LONG TIME AGO.
The most readily available version of the movie on DVD is the Special Edition which is basically the Renegade Version with enhanced special effects. My synopsis will draw primarily on the theatrical version, pointing out along the way where the Renegade Version diverges. The story is essentially the same in both versions despite the radically disparate origins of the Immortals.
Plot (Chronologically)
500 years ago on the Planet Zeist (or just “A LONG TIME AGO” in the Renegade Version), Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) and Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez (Sean Connery) led a rebellion against the evil tyrant General Katana (Michael Ironside). After MacLeod is appointed leader of the rebellion, he is swiftly defeated in his first battle, captured, and put on trial for leading said insurrection. Much to General Katana’s chagrin, the Justices at the trial seem fairly sympathetic to to the rebels and decide to simply banish them to to the Planet Earth (or the distant future in the Renegade Version). Why a military dictator would not just summarily execute the rebels or why he would appoint such sympathetic, liberal Justices is unclear. Connor and Ramirez are sent to Earth (or the future), where they are Immortal and the events of the first movie unfold. Dialogue in the original version seems to indicate they are mortal on Zeist, but in the Renegade Version the Justices strongly imply they are Immortal even before they are banished to the future.
We are now joined in a way that can never be broken... with the Quickening's new "Friends and Family" plan!
In 1999, as the Earth’s ozone layer is depleted, Brenda Wyatt dies from solar radiation poisoning and her husband Connor MacLeod (using his fairly recently acquired Prize-y powers from defeating the Kurgan) leads a team of scientist to create a force field (imaginatively named “the Shield”) around the planet to protect it from the sun’s rays.
In 2015, the company that maintains the shield has become wealthy and corrupt under its president David Blake (John C. McGinley – that’s right! Dr. Cox from “Scrubs”). MacLeod has grown old and tired and lives with the guilt of having helped create the oppressive Shield Corporation in the process of saving the Earth. A terrorist group led by Louise Marcus (Virginia Madsen), breaks into a Shield Corporation facility and gathers information that indicates that the planet’s ozone layer has repaired itself, while the company has continued to extort the population for money by playing on fears of extinction.
"Naw, I'm sure he'd never punch you in the face for pointing out the flaw in his logic."
Meanwhile on Zeist (or the distant past), General Katana becomes insanely paranoid that Connor will return and usurp him. He calls on his lackeys Corda and Reno and charges them with traveling to Earth to kill MacLeod. In a moment where the movie seems to parody itself, one of them lampshades a HUGE inconsistency in the General’s motivation by pointing out that MacLeod is mortal and can never return. In return, he gets punched in the face by Katana for asking what the audience probably wants to.
"I'm here to chew scenery and kick ass... and I'm all out of ass."
Back on Earth (the future, whatever), MacLeod is attacked by a disgruntled mortal in a bar who harbors a grudge against Connor for “covering the sky with that puke”. Nice. As he leaves, he is harassed by Louise Marcus, now a fugitive who tries to sway MacLeod to her cause. MacLeod turns her away, not wanting to get involved with another revolution. On his way home he is ambushed by Corda and Reno. A fabulously cartoony and violent 2-on-1 fight ensues with MacLeod dispatching them by pushing one off a train and under its wheels, crushing his neck and cutting his head off, and the other by clothes-lining him with a cable as he flies by with his jetpack, sheering his head off. It’s like a “Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote” cartoon with beheadings and is probably the greatest scene of the movie. As Connor finishes off Katana’s last goon and calls out to Ramirez for help, the ensuing Quickening ends up ricocheting off the Shield and reviving Ramirez in Glasgow. The resurrected Ramirez then embarks on a series of comical mini-misadventures to find his way back to MacLeod. Meanwhile, Katana is somehow aware Corda and Reno failed and departs for Earth to finish Connor himself.
Connor doing what the audience wants to - walking away from a flaming pile of junk.
General Katana arrives on Earth by crashing into a subway train which he then hijacks and wrecks, apparently killing all aboard just for fun. I guess every Highlander baddie needs a “Kurgan joy ride” scene just to show that they are, in fact, a villain and not just an adversary. The subsequent half hour or so tends to drag as Connor’s friend Dr. Alan Neyman reveals that the ozone layer has indeed restored itself and Katana ambushes Connor to taunt him. Katana then somehow finds his way to the Shield Corporation’s headquarters and for some reason allies himself with David Blake, and Ramirez finds his way to Connor. Blake has Neyman sent to the Shield Corporation’s maximum security detention center (“Max” for short) when he discovers he has informed MacLeod of the Shield’s redundancy. When Ramirez finally finds MacLeod, they resolve that the Shield has outlived its usefulness and needs to be destroyed, and Connor informs Ramirez that Katana is on Earth and will have to be dealt with as well.
Ramirez, MacLeod, and Louise sneak into Max to try to rescue Neyman and along the way Ramirez gets killed by a giant ceiling fan (all food processor like) when it seems he could have easily escaped. MacLeod finds a severely abused Neyman, just in time for him to succumb to his wounds. Connor and Louise set off for a mountain top Neyman had told him about to confirm (yet again) that the ozone layer had regenerated, only to be pursued (in the Renegade Version at least) by Katana in what the back of the VHS box called “an exciting mountain chase”. Yeah. Exciting.
What a terrific metaphor for this movie: a train wreck for the sake of fun.
When Katana fails to kill MacLeod again, Blake rubs it in. The General tires of his snark and kills him. MacLeod and Louise sneak into yet another Shield facility to shut down the generator. Katana intercepts him and a less-than-epic duel ensues, with MacLeod finally taking his head. The Quickening that follows blows up the generator and the Shield peels away from the Earth. Louise and Connor kiss and walk away (or Connor magically floats away back to Zeist apparently, in some TV edits).
Analysis
Wow. Let’s start with what this movie has going for it. It has Sean Connery reprising his role as Ramirez. He’s awesome as ever and is the source of most of the much-needed comic relief. The special effects are really quite good. (Even the original version. I haven’t seen the Special Edition yet.) Michael Ironside is always a great villain and chews up much scenery in this film. The fight with Corda and Reno is one of my favorite movie action sequences ever. It is hilariously violent, bordering on slapstick at times. I mean hoverboard/jetpack swordfight… how can anything be more awesome?
Now for the bad… and there’s a lot of it. Whether you go with the explanation that the Immortals are aliens from the Planet Zeist or exiles from “a long time ago” (when humans all lived out in the desert in abandoned starships and had mastered time travel) the mystique of the Immortals is destroyed. Having Connery back is great, but it seems he was resurrected just to be the comic relief and very briefly half-ass reprise his mentor role. Michael Ironside’s ruthless performance as General Katana is undermined by the character completely non-sensical motivation. A villain is usually only as interesting as his motivation and intent, and when one of his lackeys points out the HUGE flaw in THE driving motivation behind the plot of the movie, you know you’re in trouble. When Corda gets punched in the face for questioning why Katana would risk going to Earth and making MacLeod immortal again rather just letting him die of old age where he is no danger to him, that is effectively a punch to the face of the audience. A lot of the movie seems like it’s trying to be environmentally relevant, but any coherent message it might have had is lost with the “everything fixes itself” ending. In hindsight, it looks like the film was jumping on the early nineties bandwagon of environmentally-themed entertainment. He’s called Connor MacLeod, not Captain Planet.
The movie is chock-full of two-dimensional stock characters, sadly including some of the fairly major ones. Dr. Alan Neyman is the “buddy” who serves a purpose to further the plot and then dies in an attempt by the writers to give Connor a more personal motivation to fight TSC. David Blake is the “rich jerk” who wants to be richer and more powerful even if it means ruining the world to do so. General Katana tries to come off as a scheming tyrant, but mostly is just a raging maniac. The movie at times becomes a tangled mess of throw-away characters, dead-ending plot twists, half-explanations, and confusing action sequences, in an attempt to make the characters and audience care enough to make it to a pretty unsatisfying ending. In the end, no one cares and most people don’t even know what’s going on.
Memorable Quotes:
It’s quite comfortable back here… rather like a coffin. - General Katana
Ramirez (Looking at the Shield) : MacLeod. You created that monstrosity? Why?
Connor : It was necessary at the time.
Ramirez : So was Noah’s flood, but that at least served its purpose, it cleansed the Earth from evil and gave it a fresh start.
Bystander: Hey mister, got a light?
Corda (blasts the guy with flame thrower): BWAH HA HA HA!
The Verdict
So how do I feel about Highlander 2? Well, I was 13 when I first saw it. As such, I’m kinda nostalgic about it. Also I saw it BEFORE the original, so that may be why I don’t find it as big a letdown as most. Not that it isn’t a letdown. This movie is about on par with some of the better direct-to-video science fiction movies of the time. Definitely better than Christopher Lambert’s “Fortress”. Some parts of this movie are really fun, others are funny. Most of it is dreadful. It’s like all the ingredients of a good movie are there, just no one bothers to stir them up and bake anything worthwhile with them. You will not find anything terribly intellectually stimulating in this movie and it will sadly fail to make you believe much that’s happening. If you can turn your brain off and stop asking logical questions, you might find some entertainment value in Highlander 2. If you can’t, then General Katana will punch you in the face.
Personally, I consider Highlander 2 a drug-induced delusion that Connor had while in the Sanctuary in Highlander Endgame, and it is in that context it can be best enjoyed. If you want a dumb, cheesey action movie or love Highlander and are a real completist then pick it up, otherwise you might as well pass this (and Highlander 3: The Final Dimension) over in favor Endgame. (Although a great many fans disregard everything but the first movie).
My grade: D+
I spent a good chunk of my tween years being drug around on a grand tour of East Tennessee’s antique stores by my parents. At the time, I really didn’t enjoy it very much, but over the years I have come to appreciate why people so fondly look back at more innocent and optimistic times. I recall once coming across an old magazine from the late 40′s or 50′s (I believe it was a “Popular Science” or something along those lines) that featured a painted cover of people zipping around dome-covered cities in jetpacks. The cover caption read “Earth-1990″. This was comical enough when I saw it circa 1992-93, but now it’s really just sad. Not that the dream of personal jetpacks was ever a practical one by any means, it just seems like America’s willingness to dream big and to strive to achieve those dreams has dwindled in the decades since. When Kennedy issued his challenge to put a man on the moon and return him safely home by the end of the 60′s, America and its allies rallied to beat the Russians to our nearest neighbor. Now the only science most Americans care about is faster, more portable technologies for finding funny cat pictures, playing Farmville, annoying their friends they never see in real life, or downloading porn, while we outsource our space travel endeavors to the Russians. Why do we as a nation no longer consider space important? Is it because we’ve become so cozy with the Russians and free of the compulsion to fight the Red Menace? Is it because we feel that we “won” the Space Race? Do Americans genuinely not understand how important space travel and research is in not only attaining and maintaining the cozy lifestyle we’ve become accustomed to, but in fact to our very survival?
The human race has never been in a better position to cause or prevent its own extinction. If an asteroid like the one that killed the dinosaurs was headed for Earth now, there is a good chance we would be able to detect it in plenty of time to plan and put a defense into action. We do have the technology to alter an asteroid’s path, be it by attaching ion engines to it, tapping it with low-power lasers, or even towing it with a spacecraft’s own gravity. Looks like since the Shuttle program was retired without an alternative in place, we’ll have to leave that to the Russians though. Some day life on Earth will end. It could be when the Sun exhausts its hydrogen in 5.5 Billion years and expands, consuming the Earth. It could be when Ahmadinejad gets nukes and goes crazy-go-nuts next week. It could be an asteroid at any moment. The point is that at some point Earth will cease to exist or at least cease to be inhabitable, but that doesn’t mean that the human race has to end with it. Carl Sagan always advocated that the human race needs to be at least a two-planet species. No sense keeping all your eggs in one basket when it comes to the survival of the species. While it may be centuries before we have the technology to relocate the human race, we should at least be steering in that direction and able to defend ourselves from incoming threats in the meantime.
I understand that in times of economic instability it is natural to realign priorities, but trusting the communications, security, and potentially even survival of not only America, but possibly the entire world to a friendly-at-the-moment foreign power is not an acceptable option, especially considering the number of American jobs that could be created by the effort. I am glad to see that the private sector has stepped up to the challenge of Space Race 2.0, but the fact that the majority of our elected officials no longer saw the need for the shuttle fleet before a functioning alternative (civilian or otherwise) was available is saddening and short-sighted.
As a child I had untempered optimism and believed anything was possible – one day I would fly the Space Shuttle. As I have aged and started writing science fiction, I have become increasingly cautious in my optimism. When I look back at the comics I drew in 4th grade, 2005 was the far-flung future of flying Volkswagens, giant robots, and sleek, “Star Trek”-style ships. In high school I had pushed it back to 2010, and scaled things back to grungy classic “Star Wars” and “Alien”-style technology. By college, I had pushed it back 2020 and downscaled the level of technology to hover-y versions of things that usually aren’t hover-y. It is now the amazing space year 2012, and I now rarely even attempt to guess at how the future is going to disappoint me. Little of significance has changed technologically in the 23 years I’ve been drawing, with the exception of this amazing thing called the internet. We now have all kinds of nifty gadgets that allow us to avoid actually interacting with other humans. Space travel technology has, if anything, regressed, while our dependence on the communication and defense satellites the space program put in orbit has increased.
If God exists and truly is a being of wisdom and goodness, then he surely would not have made a universe of such complexity and vastness for the sheer sake of baffling us. If there is life out there, we are meant to find it and our place in a bigger community; if not, then the universe was meant for us , both to live in and to tap for resources. Even if there was no God and the universe is just some fluke result of decaying primordial particles, why not take advantage of the opportunities of space? The Earth is now inhabited by over 7 billion people and counting. No matter how high we build apartment complexes, we’re eventually going to run out of places to put people. “Because it’s there” is a sufficient motivation to go to space for me; for everyone else, the long-term survival of life on Earth and perhaps the universe should be enough.
Just a reminder, America: space matters.
Looks like this is the only shuttle I'll ever be flying.
