The Radicals

The other day I stopped by my local Ollie’s Bargain Outlet and was overwhelmed by the number of “…for Dummies” books they had. I scoured to see if they had one on eCommerce or ZenCart but alas, found none. I did find several whose titles struck me as funny though and thought I would share.

10. “Logic for Dummies”: Seems kinda obvious, doesn’t it?

9. “Quantum Physics for Dummies”: You understand regular physics pretty well? Then you should understand quantum physics as well as the plot for Michael Bay’s next “Transformers” movie.

8. “Stem Cells for Dummies”: Are stem cells really something we want dummies playing with? Keep an eye out for the follow-up “Recombinant DNA Monsters for Dummies”!

7. “Pit Bulls for Dummies”: Is it a guide to taking care of Pit Bulls or a proposal for how we deal with Dummies?

6. “Existentialism for Dummies”: Also known as “The Matrix Trilogy Writer’s Guide”.

5. “Archaeology for Dummies”: This seems like a recipe for backyard disaster. Armed with this book and a shovel, how long will it be til dad ruptures a gas line and the utility company is forced to cordon off the neighborhood?

4. “Turtles & Tortoises for Dummies”: I admit I don’t really have a damn clue what distinguishes a turtle from a tortoise and in that respect, I’m sure this book would be very useful to me. I find the humor in this title in the specificity of it’s target audience and the fact that there are about a dozen copies at each Ollie’s location.

3. “The Middle East for Dummies”: A copy of this book should be given to every President upon entering office along with the advice “Just leave it alone.”

2. “String Theory for Dummies”: Really? Is this a gag gift? I have a pretty decent grasp on physics and even quantum physics to an extent and string theory is still an unintelligible mess to me (and it seems even to some of the scientists who came up with it). If you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around “Turtles & Tortoises”, this one is probably not for you.

1. “IBS  for Dummies”:  Along the same lines as “Pit Bulls”, “Irritable Bowel Syndrome for Dummies” sounds more like a punishment than a guide for coping with a medical condition.